For decades, scenes involving kissing, nudity, or sexual tension in films were handled with little more than a director’s whisper and an actor’s nervous nod. No one asked what was comfortable. No one checked if boundaries were clear. No one had a job title for making sure actors weren’t just performing-they were protected.
That changed. Today, intimacy coordinators are a standard part of film sets in the U.S., Canada, the U.K., and across Europe. They’re not there to censor art. They’re there to make sure art doesn’t come at the cost of safety.
What Exactly Does an Intimacy Coordinator Do?
An intimacy coordinator is a trained professional hired to plan, choreograph, and oversee scenes with intimate content. This includes kissing, simulated sex, nudity, touching, or any moment where physical closeness could cross personal lines. Their job isn’t to stop scenes-it’s to make them happen without fear, confusion, or trauma.
They start by talking to actors privately before filming. They ask: What are you okay with? What’s off-limits? What makes you feel unsafe? Then they map out every touch, every movement, every camera angle. They write it down. Everyone signs off. No one gets pressured. No one gets blindsided.
On set, they’re present during rehearsals and takes. They ensure every prop, costume, or lighting change doesn’t accidentally expose someone more than agreed. They act as a buffer between actors and crew. If someone feels uncomfortable mid-shoot, they pause everything. No questions asked. No judgment. Just a reset.
Why Did This Role Even Become Necessary?
The #MeToo movement didn’t just expose abuse-it exposed how common it was for actors to be pushed into intimate scenes without consent. Many stories came out of actors who were told, "It’s just acting," or "Everyone does it." Some were pressured into nudity they never agreed to. Others were told to "just go with it" because the director was in a hurry.
In 2018, the TV series Succession became one of the first major productions to hire an intimacy coordinator full-time. The coordinator, Ita O’Brien, worked with actors to choreograph every intimate moment like a dance. She used movement notation, similar to ballet, to map out exactly where hands would go and how bodies would move. The result? Scenes felt raw and real-but no one felt violated.
By 2021, SAG-AFTRA, the actors’ union in the U.S., officially adopted guidelines requiring intimacy coordinators on all union productions. Now, if you’re filming a scene with nudity or simulated sex on a union set, you’re legally required to have one present. That’s not a suggestion. It’s a rule.
How Does This Change the Way Scenes Are Shot?
Before intimacy coordinators, directors might say, "Just kiss like you mean it," and hope for the best. Now, every moment is broken down.
Here’s how a typical scene gets handled:
- Pre-production meeting: The coordinator meets with the director, actors, and wardrobe team. They review the script and identify every intimate moment.
- Consent forms: Actors sign detailed agreements listing exactly what will happen-no surprises. They can withdraw consent at any time.
- Choreography: Every touch is rehearsed like a fight scene. How far does the hand go? Where does the body turn? How long does the kiss last? It’s all planned.
- On-set protocol: Only essential crew are allowed on set during intimate scenes. Cameras are blocked. Lights are adjusted. Everyone knows the boundaries.
- Debrief: After filming, the coordinator checks in with actors. Was it okay? Did anything feel off? Feedback is logged and used for future scenes.
This isn’t about slowing things down. It’s about making things faster. When actors know they’re safe, they perform better. They don’t waste time being anxious. They don’t need multiple takes because they’re holding back. The scene works the first time because everyone is aligned.
What About Creative Freedom? Doesn’t This Ruin the Art?
Some critics say intimacy coordinators make scenes feel robotic. That they turn passion into procedure. But the opposite is true.
Think of it like stunt coordinators. No one says, "Why do we need someone to plan a car crash? It should feel real!" But without a stunt coordinator, someone gets hurt. The same logic applies here.
Actors who’ve worked with intimacy coordinators say they feel more free, not less. They can fully commit because they know their limits are respected. One actor on a Netflix series told me, "I didn’t have to fake being comfortable. I was comfortable. That made the scene way more real."
Directors who’ve used them report fewer delays, fewer lawsuits, and better performances. The intimacy coordinator doesn’t dictate how the scene should feel-they make sure the actors can feel it safely.
Who Becomes an Intimacy Coordinator?
Most intimacy coordinators come from one of three backgrounds: acting, dance, or therapy. Many have years of stage experience. Others are physical therapists or certified trauma-informed facilitators.
Training programs have popped up around the world. The Intimacy Professionals Association (IPA) offers certification in the U.S. The British Academy of Dramatic Combat runs similar courses in the U.K. These programs teach body language, consent frameworks, communication techniques, and legal boundaries.
It’s not just about knowing how to choreograph a kiss. It’s about knowing how to read a person’s body. How to say, "This is your boundary," without shame. How to say, "We can stop," without fear.
What If a Production Doesn’t Hire One?
On non-union sets, hiring an intimacy coordinator is still optional. But it’s becoming a red flag if they don’t.
Independent filmmakers who skip this step often face bigger problems later: lawsuits, negative press, actors quitting mid-production, or scenes being cut because they feel exploitative.
Even if you’re filming a low-budget indie film, skipping an intimacy coordinator doesn’t save money-it risks everything. A single complaint can bury a film’s reputation. One actor’s trauma can echo for years.
Some indie directors now hire freelance intimacy coordinators for a day or two. It costs less than a single day of reshoots. And it costs nothing compared to a lawsuit.
How Do You Know If a Coordinator Is Doing Their Job Right?
Good intimacy coordinators don’t make themselves the center of attention. They disappear when things go well.
Here’s what to look for:
- They meet with actors privately before filming.
- They use written agreements that actors can review and sign.
- They’re present during every rehearsal and take.
- They allow actors to change their minds without penalty.
- They keep crew size small during intimate scenes.
- They debrief with actors after filming.
If a coordinator is just standing in the corner nodding, or if they’re telling actors to "just get over it," they’re not doing their job.
Is This Just a Trend? Will It Last?
This isn’t a trend. It’s a cultural reset.
Every major studio now includes intimacy coordination in their production manuals. Film schools in New York, Los Angeles, and Toronto teach it as part of their acting and directing curricula. The European Film Academy has made it a standard practice.
And actors? They’re demanding it. When they sign on to a project, they ask: "Do you have an intimacy coordinator?" If the answer is no, they walk away.
It’s no longer about being politically correct. It’s about being professional. You wouldn’t let someone climb a ladder without a harness. Why would you let them perform an intimate scene without a safety net?
The best scenes in film aren’t the ones that shock. They’re the ones that feel true. And truth can’t be forced. It has to be earned-in safety, in trust, in respect.
Are intimacy coordinators only for nudity or sex scenes?
No. They handle any scene where physical closeness could cross boundaries-this includes hugs, restraining, medical exams, or even intense emotional touches that involve sustained contact. If a scene makes an actor feel vulnerable or exposed, an intimacy coordinator can help structure it safely.
Can actors refuse to work with an intimacy coordinator?
On union sets, no. SAG-AFTRA rules require their presence for intimate scenes. On non-union sets, actors can refuse, but doing so may mean working without clear boundaries. Most actors now choose to work only with coordinators because they know it protects them.
Do intimacy coordinators work with directors who don’t understand their role?
Yes. A good coordinator educates directors on why boundaries matter. They don’t fight-they collaborate. They show directors how safety leads to better performances. Many directors who were skeptical at first now say they can’t imagine filming intimate scenes without one.
How much does hiring an intimacy coordinator cost?
Rates vary, but most charge between $500 and $2,000 per day, depending on experience and production size. For indie films, hiring one for just 1-2 days to cover key scenes is often cheaper than reshoots or legal fees. Many coordinators offer sliding scales for low-budget projects.
Is this practice used outside of the U.S.?
Yes. The U.K., Canada, Australia, Germany, and Sweden have had intimacy coordinators on major productions for years. The European Film Academy now recommends their use on all projects. In fact, some countries legally require them for scenes involving minors.
There’s no going back. The old way-relying on trust, silence, and hope-has failed too many people. The new way is simple: if you’re going to ask someone to be vulnerable on camera, you owe them the tools to do it safely. That’s not censorship. That’s care. And care makes better art.
